Monday is a big day. Everything starts on Monday.
Work interrupted by many fantasy thoughts. Check scores, compare scores, complain about scoring, gloat about captaincy choice/request sympathy for captaincy choice, whinge about your players being injured/suspended/overly sensitive to your drunk twitter abuse.
While you wait for lock out to lift you calculate all of your players’ price changes because why wait an extra hour, imagine the trades you could make and also haggle over the accuracy of the final updates and downdates to player scores.
Sometime on Tuesday the lockout will be lifted, or perhaps it will be Wednesday. When the lockout is lifted, it is really important that as quickly as you can you trade out a gun player that underperformed this week for a mid-range player that over performed. Do it quickly.
Now that you have done that have a look at the price changes and the break evens. Maybe chase after the winger who scored a hat-trick and has a BE of 10 for this weekend, that sort of price rise could be marginally useful to you.
You probably read lots of fantasy articles on Renegades Fantasy Sports last week. Now that the results are in you won’t be doing that again. Those guys don’t know shit. CS9 is a fantasy god they said but he got outscored by Tyler Randall. You trade CS9 for Randall immediately.
Tuesday is a big day. It is all go on a Tuesday but you will have to wait all day for it to start. Instead of dropping Team Lists during work hours they inconveniently wait till 5pm (ET) just as you want to go home. Instead you slip out at 4.45pm to grab a burger which you’ll eat at your desk while monitoring the Renegades facebook page and the NRL.com live chat so you can get all the news and team announcements. Make sure you jump on the rookie second row forward the Raiders have just announced as the 18th man. Cha-ching. Don’t expect to leave the office until 11pm but before you do send your boss an email that makes it look like you’ve been working all evening.
Wednesday is a big day. On Wednesday you get to undo all the rash, ill-conceived and stupid moves you made yesterday.
Today you read some articles on Renegades Fantasy Sports. A bit of Fluke or For Real or maybe the RFS Bosses. You also check out what Lone Scout has to say. After this you are armed with the information to work out for yourself who the next big cash cow is and get him into your team. After this you consult with the facebook page, making your own decisions is hard and helping making them is what the facebook page is for.
Thursday is a big day. Now that we have Thursday night games you are going to spend much of the day experimenting with your team like men dream women experiment with each other. Fiddle, tinker, manipulate. That’s your life. You need to have worked out every possible alternative for trading this week. Ultimately you’ll decide this week you are better off not trading - it will be the greatest moment of clarity you’ll have all week but it won’t last long.
The clock is ticking and everyone else is trading. You better trade too, can’t miss out on those marginal upgrades. No, you’re not going to trade. It is so hard. You haven’t been this confused since puberty and if you haven’t got to puberty…. Well I don’t know what to say. Look forward to that!
You also need to finalise your line-up. Lock in your captain. Your vice-captain. Four reserves. Adjust your line-up to take advantage of the rolling lock out. Everything is good you’re ready. Nope, wait. You changed your mind and have to make a trade. Nope, wait, still not sure. You read TDC’s Trade Rage checklist. Confirm you are just raging, reverse trade.
You forgot the late mail so you read that. No mention of Cam Munster being injured. Relax.
Go to facebook page. There is still speculation that Munster is injured. Panic.
Trade out Munster.
Trade Munster back in.
Hour till lock out. Panic.
Moley says Munster is injured but what the fuck would Moley know? He is the same guy that told us Walker wasn’t playing that time.
Check the final line-ups for the Thursday night game. Make last second trade. Regret it, but it is done now. Can’t reverse.
Try to enjoy the game without thinking about scores or last second trade. Can’t. Find laptop so can monitor scores and join the game thread on the facebook page.
Friday is a big day. There’s another game tonight but first you need to go back and review last night’s game. James Tedesco clearly had five tackle breaks but they only gave him three. Send email to Fanhub.
Start thread on the facebook page complaining that you were going to trade in Semi Radradra but didn’t and he went massive. That sort of thing always happens to you. And you also had Nathan Cleary as an NPR, frowny face.
The day drags on but eventually Friday Night Football rolls around.
Get hammered and watch the game while drunk trading and abusing people on social media
Saturday is a big day. Triple header.
Check team and undo changes made while drunk. Also, check on the players you were thinking about bringing in, they all scored huge, typical, you have the worst luck.
Wife/girlfriend/boyfriend want you to go shopping so you miss the start of the first game. Get home. Munster on 0? Munster is out. He was in your line-up. Motherfucker. Gordon is injured for old time’s sake and is stuck in your line-up as well. One takes a shit AE from Anthony Don, the other gets 0.
Repeat Friday night scenario.
Sunday is a big day. Go to church on account of your sins. Take cellphone so you can monitor any score changes using the Fantasy NRL app. God wouldn’t have invented this shit if he didn’t want you to use it, in fact by doing so you are celebrating his name. Amen. There aren’t any score updates. Email fanhub. Andrew Fifita had three tackle breaks not two. This won’t stand.
Afternoon game sucks because it features your team and the refs hate them and always favour the Sea Eagles/Storm/Bulldogs etc. Write a rant on the facebook page.
The weekend is drawing to a close and you’re angry. All of your players suck and all the players you wanted to get and didn’t have gone great. Next week you’ll go with your gut. Only nerds use their brains.
Sunday night game is Newcastle. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Not when Teen Mom 2 is on the other channel. Switch over to Teen Mom and don’t think about fantasy for the first time all week.